Attempt at a silver lining

I wanted to take them to The Muppets. 

It seemed easy enough.  Next week they'll be off school and we'll have a lot of antsy pre-holiday hours to fill.  Movie and lunch sounded like fun. 

Julia was game immediately.  She hasn't seen much of the muppets, but she is a big fan of their rendition of Furry Happy Monsters (to "Shiny Happy People") and likes the story of how that was the only thing that would settle her down in her infancy witching hour.  But Max said he didn't want to go. 

I knew he was at least kind of interested in the movie, but when I asked why he said no he told me that the movie would be too loud and it would be too difficult for him. 

In the past we've had a mixed reaction from Max at movies.  He likes the movie part of the movie.  He loved Up and Toy Story 3 (featuring a garbage truck, huge hit).  He loves the pop corn and the experience of being in the theater.  But for a kid with sensory issues, a movie is a problem.  It's loud, the previews and ads are annoying and that's a lot of extra information flying at you before you even get to the real movie.  But he's never said no before. 

On one hand, I'm impressed that he recognized his own limitation on this.  I know that's an important step for him to be able to say that this situation is too much and to just keep himself out of it. 

On the other hand, I just want. to. take. my. child. to. a. movie.

It wasn't even so much the dumb Muppet movie I felt that strongly about.  Max would like it, but he would lovelovelove Hugo, and that's really why I'm disappointed that movies are something we'll be missing.  And of course we can see it later at home.  But it's not the same.  Not really. 

Yesterday Julia had a dentist appointment in the morning so I took her to the muppet movie afterwards so Max wouldn't even be particularly aware that we were going.  And we had a good time, although every time I looked to my left to see her reaction to the puppets, I automatically looked to my right, too. 

I planned to write this post yesterday, but I was descending into a spiral of everybody-has-it-easier type thoughts, which I generally try not to get into.  Partly because I know it's not true and partly because it's not overly useful.  You play the hand you're dealt.  No point in thinking about how things would be if the cards were different. 

The thing about Max is, the highs and the lows are at extremes.  Yesterday I could only think about what we were missing together.  Today at his dentist appointment, Max pointed to the various instruments and told the hygenist, correctly, what color they used to be, six months ago. 

She stared at him.  I was delighted.

Comments

[Morganna]

He sounds great! I love the way he dumbfounded the hygenist. I'm sorry you can't take him to the movies.

[Jill]

I'm impressed he didn't have a meltdown at the dentist. I hate anyone's fingers in my mouth.

I used to carry earplugs before The Kid's sensory issues eased up some. We used them at the movies, swim lessons, or anywhere that was just too loud for him. Any chance he would try them?

Another thing we did was go to the movies on holidays when there weren't many people there. We even asked them to turn the sound down once because there were 8 people there and it didn't need to be that loud.

Sorry, apparently I am in fix-it mode today. I'm glad there are some wonderful moments for the two of you.

[Paula]

I would check into having a showing for kids with sensory issues. I know Jill (Marathon Mom), takes Nolan to movies that are geared that way. And everyone has a good time. Actually, I don't care for the loudness of movies, either.