How this past weekend attempted to destroy my will to live

I think it really started the Tuesday before. 

That particular day is being considered one of our worst at work, collectively, ever.  The general idea of it is this: I walked into a a walk-in huge emergency.  A dog that had been in a fight the night before and had mostly bled to death over night.  The dog's blood loss and shock were severe; the rest of the injuries I suspected were also severe but I wasn't even sure I could get the dog through the next half hour because of the blood loss.  I wasn't even sure I could find a vein anymore.  Anyway, while I was dealing with this, a client called and became abusive to the staff, and while they, first politely and then more firmly, told her she would have to wait with her non-emergency, she kept calling.  For an hour this went on, using up staff time, until eventually she threatened to sue because we wouldn't talk to her on the phone (this was the threatened lawsuit and later fired client).  Ten minutes after I got the first dog as stable as possible under the circumstances, he died. 

The rest of the morning was a fog.  People kept wanting X-rays and such and we were so behind and so drained that while I'm usually thrilled to run some tests without a fight, this time I was like, really?  Are you sure you don't want to wait a few days and see if that lameness doesn't just resolve?  REALLYPLEASE?  

But the day ended and by Thursday I was feeling more myself.  I saw another new client with a sick geriatic dog.  The situation was frustrating because the dog stayed out in the yard and she didn't know some key information I really needed.  On the physical exam I narrowed things down to general area - abdomen - and recommended and X-ray.  I could see a mass and gave the owner an option of referral for ultrasound or going right to surgery.  And this is the problem.  If she had known one. important. fact. about the dog I would have said surgery.  But she had no idea, so I said ultrasound.  This comes back later.  Oh, and the fact that finances were limited and she came to our clinic because she thought we wouldn't require her to pay her bill upfront.  Sigh.

I had Friday off, but I heard late Friday that surgery was needed for that dog, and I went surly.  I don't even know why, because my recommendation was totally reasonable either way.  I was just pissed because if she had paid any attention to what was going on with her dog I could have saved her some money.  Why that irritated me so much, I'm not sure, but I was really mad about it.  It was with that attitude that I went into work on Saturday.

And here's the thing.  Saturday was my birthday.  My 40th birthday. 

And in the five hours I worked on Saturday morning, not one person I worked with remembered to say anything. 

I actually don't like a big deal made about my birthday.  I would have killed Paul had he planned a surprise party or something, but simple good wishes from people I've known for five to ten years would have been nice.  Or at least might have kept me from coming home from work and bursting into tears. 

The day was somewhat tense anyway.  One of favorite patients came in, the owner thought with just pain, but it was far more severe.  I thought originally we could treat it conservatively but changed my mind after he left and called him, urging him to go to emergency (along the lines of, "I will die if anything happens to your dog because I didn't tell you to go,"  what can I say, I was fairly emotional by then).  But it was the right call and the dog was in surgery within a few hours. 

Finally released from work, I came home and had lunch and salted caramel brownies with three candles and opened cake pans from Paul and cookie cutters from Max and Julia (I have simple tastes and everyone else who knows me already covered the yarn).  I thought things were looking up.  And then came dinner. 

I picked a restaurant downtown that we love and hadn't been to in a while.  They were busy, as it was Dillinger Days in Tucson but they said they could seat us if we could be out by a certain time.  No problem; small children so we don't linger.  And then they just left us there.  Waiting.  For about 20 minutes.  The server was apologetic and we did get free ice cream at the end (they make it homemade).  It all would have been great.  Except for the screaming toddler at the next table. 

But Sunday's another day.  Right? 

We had plans with one of Max's friends.  They have two boys, one Max's age and one just a few months older than Julia.  We were having all of them over for some play time and dinner and then hopefully more play time while the adults got some adult time.  Paul and I made eggplant parmesan and spaghetti and a salad and garlic bread and pound cake with strawberries.  Enough food for eight.  Plus our house was even clean!

The appointed time came.

And went. 

And really, really went. 

I was torn.  I felt horrible for Max, who was just devastated.  On the other hand, Julia had been complaining that her stomach hurt and I was a little tense about that situation turning sour. 

Forty-five minutes after they were supposed to come, Julia threw up.  As I was scrubbing it up and gathering things for the washer, I heard car doors slam outside our house.

Mother. Fucker. 

And there went the next two hours, with three boys rampaging and screaming (a shout-out to my son, who took down two plates of everything, salad included), Julia quivering on the couch and asking when they were going to leave, and me sort of slowly wanting to die. 

By the next day, Julia was better, but I kept both of them home with me.  A fresh start.  A do-over.  It's no damn fun to play Groovy Girls battle Lego jetfighters by yourself anyway. 

 

Comments

[MFA Mama]

If it's any consolation at all, that histiocytoma on Isis's foreleg is doing exactly what you predicted it would (going away on its own without causing her any pain or trouble, and looking GROSS in the process) and you have become a minor household god by saving us the financial strain of what would undoubtedly have turned into a minor surgery knowing Banfield, and possibly a mange relapse for our BAYBEE because of the stress of GA and having to stay at the vet's.

Would you like oranges, incense, or both laid at your (small and tasteful, I assure you) shrine?

Seriously, I really wish all vets were as conservative with the testing and cutting, reasonable when it comes to not bankrupting owners, and sympathetic to what is truly best for the patient as you are. I wish you lived close enough for us to bring our dogs to you.

[Ginny]

Gosh, what a week! Happy belated birthday and best wishes for a wonderful Year of the Dragon.

I have found it helpful (over my 66 years) to mention my upcoming birthday in casual conversations with people whom I expect to remember it. It's a shame that everyone at your office simultaneously forgot it, especially after you'd made all those gorgeous mittens for them, but people do need a memory jog sometimes.

You sound like such a wonderful vet, and like MFA Mama, I wish you lived nearer and could take care of our precious 18 year old Miss Kitty. Instead, I send a virtual hug through cyberspace.

[SarcastiCarrie]

Tuesdays are made of pure evil.

[Jill]

I'm sorry about the suckiness. Sometimes it all just comes at the same time. Happy Birthday. Wish I could have seen you to say it on your day.

[Joy]

Yuck- I'm sorry :( Every year I have a shitty birthday- and I worry about it way ahead of time, even dreading it. My first is the clinic you and I worked at, who made me work 12 hrs, having forgot my birthday (when they celebrated eveyone's birthday with huge parties), I was sick with a 101 fever, and cramping. Worst Birthday Ever.

[kris (lower case)]

people are so careless with their animals sometimes i don't know how you stand being a vet. belated happy birthday..

[redzils]

Ugh, that sounds pretty rotten. I hope your week has improved.

Happy Belated Birthday! I hope your year is about 1000x better than it's first day.

[Sarah]

Happy Birthday, belated. What a horrible week. I hope writing it out took away some of its power. Wow. Good luck for next week.