I've been very stuck. I was going to post about January 8th, a topic I refused to discuss last year, but the day came, with the memorials, and I found that I still didn't really want to talk about it. I would, however, recommend A Safeway in Arizona for anyone interested. I warn you that the very beginning is hard to get through; I sort of hyperventilated and finally just sat down and finished that part so it would be done. The author is a friend of Giffords and certainly carries a bias, but I thought his coverage of Tucson's history and laws and just the general tenor of our city (along with some of our more colorful characters) was interesting.
Anyway. It was last night, when Julia laid that line on me that I have turned into the title that I realized she had managed to sum up the past couple of weeks perfectly. Everything has been on huge ebbs of incredible highs and unbelievable lows. Loving my clients and enjoying medicine one day. Dying animals, fired clients, threatened lawsuits the next. A seemingly smooth transition back to school. Then Julia starting to sob every day at drop off. One of my cats became desperately ill and I prepared the children for her euthanasia; then she started to eat on her own again.
I'm a middle of the road kind of person. I like happy things, but I tend to do best sort of cruising along in the middle rather than weaving back and forth. What I have been left with is a rather crippling case of insomnia, which ended up leading to an amusing conversation with a dog owner who needed to give his lab 100mg of diphenhydramine. The tech was telling him to give 4 25mg tablets. "Oh," I interrupted, "You can find 50mg capsules in the sleep aid aisle." And everyone in the lobby stopped and stared at me. It's not like I told him to have his dog pound a few shots of vodka. Hrmph. That was bonafide medical advice, as far as I was concerned.
I remain hopeful, though. I feel like this year has lots of potential once things settle down. I know it has some samples of a real-from-my-doctor sleep aid, and that, along with some super-squeezy hugs, just has to be good.
All my doctors keep trying to talk me into sleep aid stuff, but I'm so scared of them. Trying acupuncture again....
Posted by: Joy | January 20, 2012 at 04:24 PM
I hope the super-squeezy hugs and the sleep aid help. I know what you mean about preferring middle of the road cruising to the crazy up and down.
Posted by: redzils | January 22, 2012 at 01:29 PM
Jeff finally broke down and started using some Ambien when things really flare up....fabulous to open your eyes in the morning and realize that you've been asleep for more than six hours straight. I heartily endorse sleep aids.
Thank god for the Julias of the world, huh?
And cats who begin to eat and give us a little more time with them.
xoxoxoxo
Posted by: Annie | January 22, 2012 at 06:37 PM